When Facebook is actually helpful...
EXT. DAY - SUNNY AND WINDY- PARKING LOT
A woman site outside on a curb between cars. She is typing feverishly on a cell phone.
ME: Over the course of a few hours, while "technically" working, I managed to respond to a Facebook post about the New York Attorney General, Eric Schneiderman's sexual abuse allegations. Some folks debated, others commiserated with each other about the disappointing discovery. While I've been stunted creatively, I did feel my response to the article post fostered some thoughts into writing. So, here's how it went. Perhaps it will be worth it to flesh out sometime in the future.
"This is nothing new. Anyone with a #Metoo story, has at least one personal anecdote about a so-called liberal feminist man who's engaged in the very abuse they claim to protect us against. If there's a few things I hope (cis) men claiming feminism or allyship it'd be this:
1) That'd you'd understand what‚"yes all men" really means. It can be hard when you hear a catchphrase that sweeps the media, to not dismiss it as another annoying buzzword blitz. But if you're really listening, you'll hear past the absolutism of it all, and get the core message. Which is: if you're a (cis) man then there is NO doubt you have some sexist conditioning, hidden or not. This, sadly, is an absolute. You are not completely to blame for this, but as feminists have repeated what seems like endlessly: you may not be to blame, but you still benefit. That is what "yes, all men" really means.
2) Having this sexist conditioning within you is an important part of your feminist journey. Denying it, even down playing it just halts the progress. You can most definitely be a feminist and still have sexist tendencies, as long as you are making efforts to reflect on this, change, and apply it to your life.
3) People (yes all people, since we need these qualifiers these days) hold conflicts and paradoxes within their souls and hearts. Some manifest in really problematic and/or abusive ways. The question becomes, how do we hold the disturbing (and even the subtle micro aggressions) accountable for the impact their inner conflicts have had on their external world?
4) Conversation about this is the most important part. By this I mean, when your are willing and capable of the emotional labor to do so, listening and dialoguing with people who hold differing perspectives from your own. Also, finding ways to engage that still meet your energetic needs. I've found that just reading people's comments on these articles can extremely helpful to me (as anyone who's entered a social media gladiator style commentary battle, sometimes you just leave feeling battered and empty, so it's ok to just observe sometimes). The point is, take it at the pace you need, but don't stop engaging.
ME: Over the course of a few hours, while "technically" working, I managed to respond to a Facebook post about the New York Attorney General, Eric Schneiderman's sexual abuse allegations. Some folks debated, others commiserated with each other about the disappointing discovery. While I've been stunted creatively, I did feel my response to the article post fostered some thoughts into writing. So, here's how it went. Perhaps it will be worth it to flesh out sometime in the future.
"This is nothing new. Anyone with a #Metoo story, has at least one personal anecdote about a so-called liberal feminist man who's engaged in the very abuse they claim to protect us against. If there's a few things I hope (cis) men claiming feminism or allyship it'd be this:
1) That'd you'd understand what‚"yes all men" really means. It can be hard when you hear a catchphrase that sweeps the media, to not dismiss it as another annoying buzzword blitz. But if you're really listening, you'll hear past the absolutism of it all, and get the core message. Which is: if you're a (cis) man then there is NO doubt you have some sexist conditioning, hidden or not. This, sadly, is an absolute. You are not completely to blame for this, but as feminists have repeated what seems like endlessly: you may not be to blame, but you still benefit. That is what "yes, all men" really means.
2) Having this sexist conditioning within you is an important part of your feminist journey. Denying it, even down playing it just halts the progress. You can most definitely be a feminist and still have sexist tendencies, as long as you are making efforts to reflect on this, change, and apply it to your life.
3) People (yes all people, since we need these qualifiers these days) hold conflicts and paradoxes within their souls and hearts. Some manifest in really problematic and/or abusive ways. The question becomes, how do we hold the disturbing (and even the subtle micro aggressions) accountable for the impact their inner conflicts have had on their external world?
4) Conversation about this is the most important part. By this I mean, when your are willing and capable of the emotional labor to do so, listening and dialoguing with people who hold differing perspectives from your own. Also, finding ways to engage that still meet your energetic needs. I've found that just reading people's comments on these articles can extremely helpful to me (as anyone who's entered a social media gladiator style commentary battle, sometimes you just leave feeling battered and empty, so it's ok to just observe sometimes). The point is, take it at the pace you need, but don't stop engaging.
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