Can you journal yourself back to better?
EXT. DAY- PARTIALLY OVERCAST - TRAIL BETWEEN A BEACH AND A ROAD
A woman walks the trail, wearing headphones, occasionally gazing at the shoreline pensively.
ME: While listening to one of my favorite podcasts hosted by two, female comedians from New York interview a popular drag queen in the city, I allow their debaucherous and delightful banter to crack a few smiles on my face as I took my post-work contemplative walk by the Alameda shore. It was a welcomed break from a tedious work week. It's not hard work, just boring. I've been temping since last fall to make income while I figure out my next career move. It's been a weird ride since I left my psychotherapy job (and career) last June. It is now the end of May, and the anniversary of that decision is approaching. I am still wondering what the next to do next...still.
Sometimes I find it hard to explain everything without explaining all the stories connected to the story. You know what I mean? How does one begin to unpack such a life changing decision without breaking down all the components. All I know currently is this:
I am angry. Most of the time. Then I feel sad and frustrated the rest of the time.
I experience mysterious body discomfort, symptoms, and illnesses. (Even doctors aren't definitive, and/or helpful)
I am not 100% clear on what I want to do but I know I want it to be something very expressive of my voice and vision. I want to be heard and seen.
I desire creative outlet, but feel creatively stunted most of the time. (Especially these days.)
I am afraid of a lot of things, but I can't pinpoint the exact fear that is causing my stagnation...and it's maddening.
I keep trying to write. Hoping a genius idea will pop up. Don't get me wrong, I have a ton of ideas. I also have a very difficult time following through. I can't organize my thoughts to write a cohesive post/article/essay about one topic because then 15 other ideas pop through. Maybe I just have too much to say, too much to think about. I miss school when someone just said "write about this specific thing, and do it well."
I'm going to try something. I'm going to write a post about the aformentioned "things I know currently" and follow each thread down to whatever my mind allows to come up as my fingers write.
"Are ready for it? Here is goes: Free your mind!" (En Vogue)
A woman walks the trail, wearing headphones, occasionally gazing at the shoreline pensively.
ME: While listening to one of my favorite podcasts hosted by two, female comedians from New York interview a popular drag queen in the city, I allow their debaucherous and delightful banter to crack a few smiles on my face as I took my post-work contemplative walk by the Alameda shore. It was a welcomed break from a tedious work week. It's not hard work, just boring. I've been temping since last fall to make income while I figure out my next career move. It's been a weird ride since I left my psychotherapy job (and career) last June. It is now the end of May, and the anniversary of that decision is approaching. I am still wondering what the next to do next...still.
Sometimes I find it hard to explain everything without explaining all the stories connected to the story. You know what I mean? How does one begin to unpack such a life changing decision without breaking down all the components. All I know currently is this:
I am angry. Most of the time. Then I feel sad and frustrated the rest of the time.
I experience mysterious body discomfort, symptoms, and illnesses. (Even doctors aren't definitive, and/or helpful)
I am not 100% clear on what I want to do but I know I want it to be something very expressive of my voice and vision. I want to be heard and seen.
I desire creative outlet, but feel creatively stunted most of the time. (Especially these days.)
I am afraid of a lot of things, but I can't pinpoint the exact fear that is causing my stagnation...and it's maddening.
I keep trying to write. Hoping a genius idea will pop up. Don't get me wrong, I have a ton of ideas. I also have a very difficult time following through. I can't organize my thoughts to write a cohesive post/article/essay about one topic because then 15 other ideas pop through. Maybe I just have too much to say, too much to think about. I miss school when someone just said "write about this specific thing, and do it well."
I'm going to try something. I'm going to write a post about the aformentioned "things I know currently" and follow each thread down to whatever my mind allows to come up as my fingers write.
"Are ready for it? Here is goes: Free your mind!" (En Vogue)
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