Labels, names, categories, classes, boxes, and identities.
INT. CAR INTERIOR - DAYTIME
A woman sits in the driver's seat of a car parked under a tree. The seat is pulled far back and she has a journal in her lap, she writes...
ME: I started writing a post about...well...my life story basically. As I wrote, I realized I quickly lost direction. I didn't know how to organize it in a cohesive story line. I kept reading it over and erasing lines. I kept getting stuck on the questions: how do I communicate my multiple existential crises? How do I encapsulate the intensity I've experienced sensorily and emotionally my whole life? How do I begin to describe my identity, how I define myself for the world? How? How? How? Why is this so hard? Why am I so unsure? Why can't I just...anything with ease!? Why? Why? Why!?...Then I thought about a writer I looked up to and inspired me when I was about 12. Fiona Apple. I know, she's more of a musician but, her lyrics entranced me even as a pre-pubescent ignorant, hopeful little brat. And it thought about one of my favorite of her lyrics "Tired of whys, choking on whys. Just need a little because, because." A little golden morsel of advice from a writer friend of "give yourself permission not to finish something. Some writing isn't meant to be finished," along with Fiona's lyric, allowed me to just move the fuck on. So here it is. New post. Allowing the freshness to blow through my mind and out my hands, (or something probably more poetic than that.)
If my stream of consciousness hasn't scared you away yet, well then awesome. There's a lot to know about me, and I do believe it has some importance to understand someone's perspective who claims to speak about the world in a (hopefully) meaningful way. So, some basics. They may be boring, they may be life changing to you. I don't know. They are just categories I belong to, their importance or lack their of, is up to you. I am:
- A woman, a cis woman. I certainly don't feel this way all of the time, but this identity feels at least "right" enough to continue with given she/her pronouns and adorn myself in "woman" stuff.
- Kinda White, kinda not. My mother is Puerto Rican, and my father is Greek. That I know of. Haven't had a DNA test yet. However, my skin is light enough to pass as White and therefore read as such."Mixed" has felt the most appropriate to me personally, despite some people's detest for the term. I've spoken English my whole life and was born in the U.S. That adds extra layers of privilege to my lightness.
- I do not know how I identify sexually, and I am okay with that. I mostly date cis-men, and have most of my life but there are and have definitely been variations. (insert winking emoji)
- I am sex positive. Which to me, means I support sexual freedom and expression. I am pro sex-ed, pro sex-work, pro-kink, pro-body positivity, pro-choice, and PRO-consent. There's a lot more nuance to sex positivity, but more on that later.
- I am a feminist. I have been involved in feminist activism for over 10 years now, so I am not part of the recent cohort of people just learning about it from the Women's March. However, I am grateful people are caring at all.
- *Sigh* This one is hard to write because I get A LOT of shit for it. I blame the media (and every pretentious hippie or hipster who's ruined it for us all.You know who you are. You dick.) Here it goes: I am vegan. Mostly. I occasionally eat honey, or products that may contain eggs on occasion, and I will wear leather if its vintage. But yeah... I'm mostly a vegan. But not the militant judgey kind I SWEAR! I came to being a vegan through many trials of digestive problems, and mysterious health issues. I also realized my bodily challenges were related to my environment. I have always been concerned with environmental issues. The more I learned about my consumption of animal products related to my physical suffering, the more I was willing to give veganism a go. Personally, I do not see a distinction in how we treat the environment, from how we treat people, and our own bodies. They are all the same in a macro level. It has helped me to keep that in mind, no matter the activism I'm involved in. I do NOT think veganism is for everyone, but I can attest to its benefits. I don't care what people eat in front of me. Or what you cook. Animals are part of nature, and we eat nature. I may disagree with the way the larger food production systems treat animals, but I do NOT disagree with your personal choice. You do YOU. Neither of us is better than the other because of our fucking food. We become better by self-reflection. (Apologies for the longwinded-ness.)
There's obviously more categories I could check off the list, but frankly I think you get the idea. And like any person, you'll only get to know me with time. In time we learn each others' quirks, our fears, our peeves, our neuroses, and our values. I know it sounds like a polite and cordial send off at the end of a cover letter, but truly, I do hope to connect with you.
If my stream of consciousness hasn't scared you away yet, well then awesome. There's a lot to know about me, and I do believe it has some importance to understand someone's perspective who claims to speak about the world in a (hopefully) meaningful way. So, some basics. They may be boring, they may be life changing to you. I don't know. They are just categories I belong to, their importance or lack their of, is up to you. I am:
- A woman, a cis woman. I certainly don't feel this way all of the time, but this identity feels at least "right" enough to continue with given she/her pronouns and adorn myself in "woman" stuff.
- Kinda White, kinda not. My mother is Puerto Rican, and my father is Greek. That I know of. Haven't had a DNA test yet. However, my skin is light enough to pass as White and therefore read as such."Mixed" has felt the most appropriate to me personally, despite some people's detest for the term. I've spoken English my whole life and was born in the U.S. That adds extra layers of privilege to my lightness.
- I do not know how I identify sexually, and I am okay with that. I mostly date cis-men, and have most of my life but there are and have definitely been variations. (insert winking emoji)
- I am sex positive. Which to me, means I support sexual freedom and expression. I am pro sex-ed, pro sex-work, pro-kink, pro-body positivity, pro-choice, and PRO-consent. There's a lot more nuance to sex positivity, but more on that later.
- I am a feminist. I have been involved in feminist activism for over 10 years now, so I am not part of the recent cohort of people just learning about it from the Women's March. However, I am grateful people are caring at all.
- *Sigh* This one is hard to write because I get A LOT of shit for it. I blame the media (and every pretentious hippie or hipster who's ruined it for us all.You know who you are. You dick.) Here it goes: I am vegan. Mostly. I occasionally eat honey, or products that may contain eggs on occasion, and I will wear leather if its vintage. But yeah... I'm mostly a vegan. But not the militant judgey kind I SWEAR! I came to being a vegan through many trials of digestive problems, and mysterious health issues. I also realized my bodily challenges were related to my environment. I have always been concerned with environmental issues. The more I learned about my consumption of animal products related to my physical suffering, the more I was willing to give veganism a go. Personally, I do not see a distinction in how we treat the environment, from how we treat people, and our own bodies. They are all the same in a macro level. It has helped me to keep that in mind, no matter the activism I'm involved in. I do NOT think veganism is for everyone, but I can attest to its benefits. I don't care what people eat in front of me. Or what you cook. Animals are part of nature, and we eat nature. I may disagree with the way the larger food production systems treat animals, but I do NOT disagree with your personal choice. You do YOU. Neither of us is better than the other because of our fucking food. We become better by self-reflection. (Apologies for the longwinded-ness.)
There's obviously more categories I could check off the list, but frankly I think you get the idea. And like any person, you'll only get to know me with time. In time we learn each others' quirks, our fears, our peeves, our neuroses, and our values. I know it sounds like a polite and cordial send off at the end of a cover letter, but truly, I do hope to connect with you.
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